Is Your Leadership Conflict-Averse?
Is there a high-conflict person causing disruption, leaving team members walking on eggshells?
There's only one reason the high-conflict person does what they do: because it works, and the reason it works is because the manager of the high-conflict person has refused to have a difficult conversation.
Below are three signs that indicate conflict aversion and ways to overcome it.
1. Identity
Leadership behavior is intricately linked with identity and many leaders identify with being nice.
The only problem is when a manager's need to be liked overrides the decision to be respected. That leader will avoid initiating a conversation that might trigger anger or other uncomfortable
emotions.
* Think it Through and be Courageous
The sign of a good conversation is when behavior changes. In difficult conversations, both the manager and employee will experience some discomfort. When it comes to growth, comfort is not a requirement, but courage is.
More conflict occurs when a manager's need to be liked overrides the decision to be respected. That leader will avoid initiating a conversation that might make trigger anger or other uncomfortable emotions.
* Own Your Part
Don't set out to embarrass, teach a lesson or check the box.
Own the part you played in allowing poor performance. Set the intention to help that individual grow, and provide the tools for course-correction and accountability
2. Anger and Resentment
Taking employee behaviors personally leads to strong emotions.
Believing that an employee isn't ambitious, doesn't care or isn't willing closes off your curiosity. The leader's anger isn't the problem, but their faulty assumptions are.
* Find the Root Cause
Performance and behavioral issues are rooted in one of five areas:
clarity
priorities
resources
skills
willingness
3. Question Assumptions
Listen to the reasons (or excuses) an employee gives you for the purpose of pinpointing the root issue.
If the problem is clarity, priority or resources, it's the manager's job to offer coaching or assistance.
If the problem is skill, then it's either an issue of training or an issue of poor hiring practices.
* Digital Communications
Email and texting combined with working from home have made avoidance and aggression easier than ever. Many leaders today hide behind the safety of email rather than confront an important issue upfront and in person.
* Avoid Misunderstandings
Digital communications are for reminders, meeting invitations, facts, and nonsensitive issues. They are not meant for topics that are complex, sensitive or emotional
* Pick up the Phone
When in doubt, pick up the phone. There is a difference between efficient and effective. Efficient but not effective only creates inefficiency, and sometimes hurt feelings in the end.
Avoiding difficult conversations causes a culture of dysfunction that affects every aspect of your organization.